In remembrance of a truly remarkable woman I was blessed to call friend.  A few years before she passed she approached me about co-writing her story with her.  However, at the time she was busy fighting cancer and there was not enough time to undertake the project beyond a few conversations.  I’m going to honor my obligation in a slightly different way, though.  I’m going to pass on what I learned from my remarkable friend and tell our shared story of friendship here.  Because our friendship was one of Hope, and as that is the mission of this blog I feel it is worth sharing and honoring my dear friend.

On December 9th, 2022, Sheri passed away after a years-long, hard fought battle with cancer.  This past weekend I attended her Celebration of Life and tomorrow would’ve been her 61st birthday.  I’m still dealing with a sense of loss.  She had a huge impact on my life in a series of simple, small yet poignant ways.  Her passing has left me examining the other relationships in my life.  Sheri was an easy person to be friends with and although our friendship had periods of ebbing and waning, she was a true friend always.  

How did our friendship start?  We met in the early 2000s at a neighbor’s 80s themed party.  At the time she was a client of a neighbor.  Sheri and I bonded over a shared love and passion for writing.  She had done several editing projects and she had written earlier in life for a newspaper up in the mountains.  I was also impressed that she had a witty catchphrase – “Eat, Drink and be Sheri.”

During our first meeting, Sheri touched upon the horrific accident that had changed the course of her life.  As I got to know her better, I learned that every year she celebrated “It’s Great to Be Alive” Day on the anniversary of her accident.  I would always get a reminder on that day – a text, call or planned activity to celebrate the gift that is Life.  Over the years, I’ve started to realize that life IS something to be celebrated DAILY.  I was not always of that mindset.  I had a history of throwing in the towel amid bouts of anxiety and depression.  She gave me reason to pause and see the beauty (and hope) life could afford by changing my attitude.

When I got sober almost 9 years ago, she was there at the start of my journey lending support.  At the time, my husband would travel a few days at a time and Sheri would come stay with me, as I didn’t trust myself when left to my own devices or if I got lonely.  Sheri showed up for me.  So when Sheri was moved into an assisted living facility towards the end of her life, I knew the right thing to do.  It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t nearby, but I showed up for Sheri.  That wasn’t the kind of person I had been necessarily when drinking, but that is the person I am today, in part due to Sheri.  I am that friend that will show up.  It’s also why, when asked to read my last blog post at the Celebration of Life, I said yes.  I showed up for Sheri, just as she had showed up for me many times during our friendship.

There are “Sheri’s” in life, those who show up not just when things are festive and fun.  They always show up  to lend support and bring love, comfort and compassion with them.   They are present for the good and the bad.  And they show up in spite of their own struggles.  For example, last year was my 25th wedding anniversary and Sheri came over for a party to help set up.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, she wasn’t feeling well and had lost her job earlier that day, which was unsettling and uncertain for her.  She showed up anyway (and early because she had promised to help set up.). When she arrived she didn’t mention any of this and I had no idea what her day had been like.  I didn’t learn any of this until she was getting ready to leave and I was walking her out and noticed that something was up.  That was Sheri.  She was someone who showed up for her friends and honored her commitments even when she was struggling.

Sheri never came empty handed.  She usually had a list of conversation topics saved up, tucked into her purse.  She was an excellent conversationalist, bright and diplomatic.  I’m going to miss our wide ranging conversations on celebrities, politics and spirituality.  Occasionally she would come bearing gifts that were well thought out.  I treasure them now.  For example, while she was seeking treatment at a hospital near my house she would occasionally spend the night.  She would usually be gone before I woke up due to early morning tests and treatments.  One time she left a hand towel on the guest bed.  On the towel was embroidered, “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”.   That was Sheri, and she was a living example of how to accomplish that notion with grace.

Sheri went through a great deal of hardship in her life, but she did so with an outlook and attitude of positivity.  In honor of Sheri, I am setting an intention for my 9th year of sobriety in April, however, I’ll be starting right now.  Hence forward I will celebrate “It’s Great To Be Alive” Day every single day with a grateful heart and focused on blessings.  And I will carry this message and share it with whoever needs a reminder throughout my day.  Feel free to do the same.  Make the world a better place for someone today – just like Sheri did for me.  

I’ll leave you with a quote by my dear friend, Sheri, “You don’t have to make a big splash in life.  The little ripples mean the world to some.”