A chance remark among friends led me to pause and think about the purpose behind this blog. Valid question! You may even wonder whether to keep reading at this point. However, I can provide some answers, not all the answers but a few. Answering the who, what, when, where and why is a benchmark of good writing.

Who? As this blog is titled The Lara Life, the who is me, Lara, of course. But who am I? I am a work-in-progress, former over-indulger of the spirits, sober for a few years, receiver of a mental health label in my early twenties, daily struggler with out-of-control perfectionism, and married to my best friend for over 20 years. Right now, I have hints of purple in my hair. I have a tattoo of a praying mantis with the words “be true” on my forearm. I got the tattoo a few years back to celebrate 5 years of booze-free living. Every year a praying mantis takes up residence on my front porch (the Lara Sanctuary), where I spend an abundance of time. It’s where I sit and admire the tree in my front yard. As the tree has budded and grown over the years, so has my spirituality. If you so desire, plug “symbolism” and “praying mantis” into your search engine. Praying Mantises can be symbolic of mindfulness. I need that reminder at times. The words “be true” help keep the idea that truthfulness to others, myself and through my actions is paramount to living life in a way that is in line with my spirituality.

What? Let’s start with what this is not. This is not a sobriety blog. I only have my own limited experience. But my sobriety is a cornerstone to the changes in my life that have led to this blog. This is not a mental illness education platform, although that is a subject I’m passionate about. This is not any type of self-help, other than one friend talking about what she’s learned to another – me talking to you. I’m not qualified to do anything other than talk about what I’ve learned through my own experiences and realizations over the years. I’m not a professional anything, nor have I ever been. I’m also not perfect and I assure you, I am not the poster child for anything. So, that is all of what this blog isn’t.

What it is – it’s about HOPE (and not in the way you might think i.e. I hope someone reads this). It’s along the vein of, “I HOPE through sharing what I have found in my experiences, I can offer someone a kernel of hope to help in their own journey”. Will we always agree, or will I always be relevant to your lot in life – probably not! But one of the many lessons I have picked up, which has translated into my writing, is to look beyond the straightforward presentation of facts for the larger picture and deeper meaning. By looking at life this way, it becomes much fuller and richer.

When? Now. Not sure about tomorrow. Whenever I work up the courage to post again. I may have left this out earlier, but I am human. Occasionally I get overwhelmed by fear, insecurity and this crippling feeling of inadequacy that crops up periodically. However, I do know when the idea of my blog was born. A few years ago, while in a relatively good place, a bully crossed my path. What made the bully scary and more effective in their bullying, was the material they were hurling at me. It was the secrets I had been trying to hide from the world being screamed at me in public. I shattered into little pieces and found myself almost at the same crises point that changed my path over twenty years ago. What she was yelling I unveiled to you in the Who section. Maybe now I am ready to start a conversation to help get us away from stigma. Yes, I am in recovery for alcoholism and have a mental health diagnosis. However, I am much more than the sum of these two labels. I am human and I’m hoping that in my being open, it takes a little wind out of the sail of stigma. Both conditions for the moment are well-managed. If you were to meet me, I doubt you’d guess that I have either label. Hopefully, you can suspend judgement based on the facts you were just given. Life can be difficult enough without weighing ourselves down with unnecessary, hasty judgements. My hope is that we don’t limit ourselves to easily applied labels, but the only way I know how to do this in my limited fashion is to be open about some of my own struggles.

Where? Out there into the world, as daunting as that may be, because I have a lot bouncing around in my head and I feel some sort of calling to share this with an audience that may need to hear my message. Maybe you don’t need to read this, but maybe someone else does. That one person – maybe the one in a zillion who randomly runs into this blog may need a message that day or to not feel so alone. Who couldn’t use a little extra dose of hope!

Why? At a moment of crises over 20 years ago, my life should’ve been over. I felt alone in the world and I wasn’t. I didn’t have a lot of hope. I survived. I’ll venture to say, despite all the challenges so far, I’ve done better than people predicted. But it’s been a journey of epic proportions with lots of stumbling along the way. The key for me was looking for and finding hope in my situation, my life, my path. I’ve been wondering ever since that key moment what my purpose is. I’m not sure it’s a blog, but for some reason, writing brings me peace. Do your struggles have to match mine for you to understand or see relevance in my writing – I hope not. I’ve learned to look at the similarities in people with a degree of compassion if possible. My hope is to get a message out that we are not alone in our struggles, whatever they may be. More importantly, the bigger message is to look for hope. Hope is out there; we just need to keep our eyes open for it.