My husband and I were wandering around the local home improvement store a while back, when I spotted an object of interest in the houseplant section.  It was a tiny tree surrounded by moss with a single stone with one key word written on it.  It was the word that sealed the deal – HOPE.  Here was the perfect plant for my office!  I had been redoing a room in my house to provide a Lara sanctuary.  This was meant to be!  We purchased the plant and I eagerly placed it on my desk.

FULL DISCLOSURE – at this juncture of life, this tree became our one and only houseplant.  Well, that’s if you don’t count the cactus carcass in my husband’s office.  Yes, it is possible to kill a cactus… And I’m pretty sure my husband was hanging onto it as a reminder to carefully think out any plans to add plants to our indoor habitat.  However, this tree was “HOPE”.  So, we disregarded the sad omen of the cactus (and to be honest – I whined and cajoled quite a bit), and we purchased my little tree.

I carefully tended to my tiny tree.  It remained status quo for a few weeks before something unfortunate started to happen.  Leaves started dropping at an alarming rate.  It was in a sunny spot and I was very careful not to overwater or underwater it.  I was perplexed.  We were down to about 5 or 6 leaves and hope was fading fast.  I had gone online to see what I was doing wrong, but as the little tag with the plant had only said “Bonsai”, it was hard for me to figure out exactly what was going on.  Exasperated and a little depressed, I told my husband the tree was destined for the dump.  I was ALMOST to the point of giving up hope, but then something happened. 

My parents were visiting, and I was showing them what I had done to my office since their last visit, when I glanced over at the tree and said I had forgotten to throw it out.  My dad looked at me quizzically and asked why I was going to throw it away.  I said it was dying – the tree of “HOPE” was “HOPELESS”.  And then my father did something that I wasn’t aware you could do.  He carefully went over the tree and snapped off the dead branches.  Huh.  I was skeptical, but I was going to throw it out anyway, so it was worth a shot.  After Dad left, something unexpected happened with that tree.  I continued to water it and let it sit in the sunny spot on my desk and the MIRACLE happened.  It flourished and thrived.  The leaves and branches exploded exponentially.  This tree that I was going to give up on and discard came back strong and continues to grow.

When reflecting on this experience, I can see a reminder of a valuable lesson for myself.  A real-life example – when cleaning out my office a while ago, I came across a plastic container filled to the brim.  I had been holding on to it for years, a collection of journals from my late teens/early twenties.  It had been untouched for years.  Someday, I thought, I would go back and browse those journals.  The journals were from an incredibly difficult time of my life.  However, I was holding on to hope that someday these journals would be a springboard for writing.  I hadn’t written anything of substance for quite a few years.  I was stoppered up writing-wise.  I hung on to this box, refusing to let go.

Also, at that time I was dealing with a period of great anxiety and had sought out the assistance of a yoga therapist for relief.  I was doing much better and had discussed with her how I had been uninspired for years regarding writing.  And I told her about the box.  She suggested I do something that horrified me – get rid of the journals.  Impossible!  Who knows what brilliant treasures and inspiration might be in there IF I reviewed them!  Then she brought up an argument with which I couldn’t disagree.  These journals were the PAST – and life was in the PRESENT.  I ruminated on this for a month or so, before I decided to “prune the dead branches”.  I’ll admit, there were tears.  Without indulging in the urge to read them, I sat in front of my shredder and let go of my past.  No more hanging on to those dead branches!  And I’ve become more selective of what I hang on to in life in general.  I’ve found it’s a more peaceful existence.

It took a little bit of time for my “miracle” to happen, but here I am in this moment, typing away on my computer.  I’m practicing my passion, and I’ve gotten a “voice” back.  I’m WRITING!  Like my box store bonsai tree, there’s HOPE for me too.  Time to grow and flourish!